Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
