I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
