Already got asked if we're dating
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
