I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Vodka?
Forever.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
