bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
