They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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