I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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