I will die if light touches me.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
