Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
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