What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
