The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
