i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
