I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
