Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
