Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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