Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
