Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
