First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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