In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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