I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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