where does the pee come out of this thing
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
