And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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