dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
