are you still at the devil's house?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
