He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
