i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
