I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
