so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
