Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
