Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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