They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
