I think i sorta joined a cult last night
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
