used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
