so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
