i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
