So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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