U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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