i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Randomize
