That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Your cock deserves a montage
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
