New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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