That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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