brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
