so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
