proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
