so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
