Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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