bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
