it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
If its not for food we ain't going out.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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