I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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