My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize