OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
