is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
