Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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