this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
