i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
