I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
