Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
